So I have read (and heard) about folks hanging on to emotional disappointments. You know what I mean - the boy that never called, the teacher who never understood you, the parents who didn't give you your due credit . . . there are probably a million examples.
Today I have been thinking about another kind of emotional disappointment that often weighs me down - its the guilt that accompanies an unkind word or thoughtless gesture that I may utter on any given day. Or the crappy joke that turns out to be too close to home for someone. Or the held-onto disappointment that come with expecting to be adored or admired and then not receiving that.
Once, in grade six, I made an off-hand comment in choir that a song would be much easier to master once the accompaniment was down pat. It was not intended as a slight or even directed at anyone in particular but the piano teacher (an adult) rose from her stool and told me that I was disrespectful, the piece was very challenging, and I should learn to keep my mouth shut. Ouch. that was a painful lesson for a socially inept child. But it was the beginning of a life long lesson in the power and effect of WORDS.
So many I wish I could take back! So many I wish had come to me in the heat of an argument. So many I wish I had the fortitude and forthrightness to say in a moment of need. These are the emotional disappointments that can weigh me down. Most often I am disappointed in myself.